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I used to watch you from afar
It is the only thing I can do
Am I imagining it, to be standing so close to you
It never crossed my mind that you would be here
Are you aware of the feelings I have?
I want to tell you how much I love you
Do you hear any of it, do you hear it at all?
The one word that overwhelms my heart
We are this close do you hear any of it, the beating sound of my heart
Do you hear any of it, do you hear it at all?
That my heart is telling you that I love you for so long
I hope that you can hear that I love you
You are the only person I’ve waited for
You are the only person in my dreams
I covertly watch you every day
The only person I’ve impressed with.
(OST Maya Tawan- Neung Kum Tee Lon Jai- One word that overwhelms my heart)

Who doesn’t like to watch a fangirl’s dream come true.  Do you secretly fancy a celeb, never hoping that your dreams could come to fruition, but by the work of the universe and maybe even that proverbial fate, you find yourself right under his nose and his attention squarely on you?

Mattana, our Siam Sarn entertainment reporter, and now an aspired political columnist, is interviewing Khun KhetTawan, a former superstar but now business man, who forever hated the media. It was a shaky start but the more time they spend together, the more they got to know each other. After all, it’s the intimacy, the shared secrets and stories that bond two people together.

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It is something Chane Cross will never understand. The malicious man and former friend to KhetTawan tries to convince Mattana to write sordid details of Khun KhetTawan’s past now that she has his trust. He tells her to dig up some dirt because the public wouldn’t want to read mere updates. He even goes so far as to help her twist the stories, add in rumors to make her column juicy. Mattana doesn’t feel right about it, but he reminds her that after the interview, she will never see Khun KhetTawan again. This saddens her. He wants her to divulge the information she has gleaned from the former celeb. Mattana questions Mr. Cross’ intentions, but he merely made the excuse that he wants her to be successful with this project because they’ve invested so much into it.

The snake is despicable but he only serves to remind her that indeed, her time with KhetTawan is drawing to a close and how will she ever move on when she has already fallen for him? Like the title song indicates, will he ever hear the words that overwhelms her heart?

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KhetTawan is smitten with the young reporter, he finds himself smiling too much, looking at her too much. Yet there is something that doesn’t add up about her. He learns from his friend Khun Ak that she has gone down to the beach to read a book. But an hour prior, she had received a phone call. This raises his suspicions, he had been wondering about the connection of the “boyfriend” that had come to see her on her birthday. He is curious on whether that man is a fellow reporter or a real boyfriend. KhetTawan decides to join her at the beach to find out.

Khun Ak surmises that his friend is not so much cautious about Mattana, but more like he is possessive. Hah. Smart man, this Khun Ak.

KhetTawan does not see the malicious man spying on him from the trees, all he sees is Mattana sitting alone and crying from the ending of her book. Khun Ak had forewarned her that there will be some angst.

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“You can throw it into the beach if you’d like,” KhetTawan offers as he walks towards her. “Not a good book?”

“It’s good.. but the writer is horrible! What an unfair ending!” she exclaims with tears streaming down her face, “What kind of world is this where the bad guy gets everything? Money, power, etc while the main guy remains destitute? And the main girl, ugh, she is an idiot.”

“Sounds like you were into it.”

“I’m going to refute with Khun Ak. I don’t know what possessed him to purchase this book!” she’s still flabbergasted, angry.

“Aren’t you a realist? I think they write the truth,” KhetTawan says, ah such a cynical person. “There is no such thing as a heroine in real life who is willing to bear the difficulties. It only exist in fairytales, little girl.” He looks far way, “There is no Cinderella waiting for her hero to rescue her. In this day and age, there are only evil witches- and they don’t look ugly like the book bespeaks. But they are as pretty as an angel.”

Mattana peers warily at him, “I’m not going to argue with you. What you say is somewhat true.” She starts to cry again. “The real world is such a bad place already, so why can’t this book be sweet? Why does it have to hurt me too?”

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KhetTawan faces Mattana and wipes her tears away. She explains to him that she is sensitive like an artist, hehe.

“A reporter with an artist’s emotional complex?”

She ignores his comment, “I thought about writing my own novel. I’ve cried and laughed through other’s work and I want others to laugh and cry with my work too.”

“Then why don’t you write one?” he encourages.

She makes a face, “No one is going to want to read it.”

“You haven’t even started and you’re already insulting yourself,” he says. “When I first starred in a film, I had thought that I couldn’t do it too. But when I took that step forward and tried, I knew I can do it.”

She defends him without question, “you won best actor award. They don’t just give it to anybody.”

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“You don’t know what you can do until you try,” he advises.

“Fine, I’ll start writing one tonight!”

“Then I’d like to be the first one to read it.”

“Why, so you can laugh?”

He just shakes his head and laughs.

They both made their way back to the beach house. She wonders to herself how romantic it would be if they were to hold hands.

KhetTawan seem to have the same thought in mind because he questions whether her feet still hurts. She tells him it hurts a little, so he takes her hand and they stride together. Aw.

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When they arrive at their stairwell and Mattana has walked away, Khun Ak confronts KhetTawan with concern. He worries that the backstabber and former friend will hurt KhetTawan. But KhetTawan is not concerned; he thinks that the man is too much of a coward. Khun Ak advises not to underestimate cowards, because they are the ones who will do anything sneaky to eliminate their enemies.

The topic of his sister comes up. Mattana was observing the plants around the deck and learns that KhetTawan had the kids from the temple plant them. His charity endeavors includes teaching the kids how to make a living, whether that is gardening, raising farm animals etc. Mattana is truly impressed with this Mr. Ponn and digs a little deeper, she asks after his mysterious sister, Parn.

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“Where is Miss Parn now, is she studying abroad or married?”

KhetTawan is quiet. “She passed away already.”

“I’m so sorry..”

“She passed away even before I came into the industry.”

“Was she sick or was it due to an accident?”

The memories of his sister still pains him and he shares another moment with her. It was the scene where he slips the shoes on for his sister Parn, as he finished tying on her shoelaces, she took her last breath. They were poor at the time, and she fell ill. She was weak from it even when she was alive. All of a sudden she passed away. KhetTawan rocked his sister in his arms, crying for her not to leave him.

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As he’s telling Mattana this story, there are no dried eyes.

“Let’s talk about something else,” she tries to bear him the pain.

“Her real name is Jantira. She dreamed of having a shop of her own one day, a designer boutique where others would wear her clothes at a good price. So I try to do everything to make her dreams come true. But I’m so useless. I can’t even make her see it in time.”

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“That’s not true,” she consoles him, “She would be sad to know that you feel this way. How many people can still strive for it even after their loved one pass away? She’s so lucky to have the best brother.” Mattana touches his arms, “She would be proud that you haven’t forgotten her. I’m so envious of her- she has such a good brother.” She turns away, “I can’t believe I’m crying like this, it must be that darn novel.”

KhetTawan looks at her, “Thank you, Mattana.” They embrace with tears, bonded by the shared, sad story. “Smile now, don’t cry, little girl.”

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Mattana tries to smile. “May I include this poignant story in the interview? I want everyone to see you the way I see you. I want them to know that the Tawan Brand isn’t only about beautiful clothing, but it has a deep meaning. Please?”

“Go for it. Parn would be happy to know that people who purchase the dresses would think of her.”

She holds his hands between hers, “thank you.”

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Mattana is alone in her room as she phones her boss, who chastises her for disappearing without a contact. She shares her triumphant news about KhetTawan. Little did she know that Mr. KhetTawan is entering her room as she speaks to her boss.

Her boss wants her to inquire about the events two years prior, the murder case. She is uneasy about it but will try. The two brainstorm about the title of the article and laugh at how trite it sounds. KhetTawan stands behind her with a smile. As she ends the call, she falls back on her bed with happiness. Heeh. Then she realizes that KhetTawan is right behind her.

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KhetTawan couldn’t focus on work so he offers his time for the continuation of the interview.

She learns about him as a kid, that he is unruly, stubborn and fierce. He got spanked, his mouth washed with soap by the Abbott, but at the end of the day, KhetTawan learns that it is the Abbott who disciplined him and showed him the right way.

Mattana wonders why he didn’t like to take a shower. KhetTawan explains that he was the lightest skinned of the bunch and wanted to be dark so he could fit in. He gets teased a lot for his skin color, that his mother was a prostitute and that he didn’t have a father. But he can deal with those criticisms if they are said to his face. What he despises though, are people who compliment you in your face but stab you in the back. He tells her that he used to have a good friend in the past, but he’s like the devil. He wouldn’t stop pestering or damaging KhetTawan til this day.

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Suddenly the topic of the murder case came up, KhetTawan refuses to include that in the interview. He’s so pissed that he has to calm himself down and apologizes for his outburst.

The trio, Mattana, KhetTawan and Khun Ak have a nice, camaraderie dinner together. Mattana made the nam prik, the only thing she could do that is edible and throughout dinner, KhetTawan keeps making eyes at Mattana. Khun Ak stops talking because the two doesn’t seem to hear him say anything lol. Khun Ak is pleased at how they are secretly admiring each other.

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Even during the cleaning duty, KhetTawan can’t take his eyes off of Mattana, hah. The way KhetTawan gazes at a girl, it can make one blush. Aummmm you are too hot.

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After dinner, Mattana has a chat with Khun Ak. He inquires if she knows Khun Salinee (the nurse.) Mattana surmises that Khun Ak has a crush on the nurse. He thanks her for helping “someone” to come out of his shell. And he prays that no one will make that “someone” go back into his shell again. Khun Ak is such a good friend.

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Meanwhile Mee receives a card from the handsome Sarawat who offers his “services” and attention to her. She puts the card down and wonders that if she’s not a reporter, if he would be that attentive towards her. After all, reporters and police officers go hand in hand.

And then one of my favorite parts of this episode, Waree and Khun Smart!!

So Mattana is trying to make it up to her sister (sister in combat that is) for ignoring her the last few days. She tells her that Khun KhetTawan held her phone hostage. Waree finally forgives her and fills her in on what’s been going on in her case.

The funniest aspect: we are seeing the events unfolding in Mattana’s imaginations.

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The notorious party on the island, Mattana imagines her sis dressed up in a flowing, golden gown, with her hair pinned up. So gorgeous. The man who keeps bugging her prior to the party turns out to be Khun Smart. He approaches her from behind; he’s dressed in his classy suit with his hair brushed away. Sexy and mysterious. Chakrittttt! (How can I not fangirl over this hottie McHottie?!)

“You must be tired of seeing me,” he teases her.

She turns to see him, irritated. “Why didn’t you tell me from the beginning that you’re Khun Smart?”

“Well you didn’t ask,” he says nonchalantly, “you were too busy yelling at me.” Heeh. I love this pr’ek already.

[In the background Mattana surmises that Khun Smart must be testing to see if Waree is really a reporter. Waree wonders how he would know that she wants to interview him. Mattana questions her sis on whether she told anyone about her intentions? Waree wanted to do a face palm, she has an idea who the culprit is.]

“I need the article to be based on the truth- no fabrications,” he says, looking at her appreciatively at her figure.

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“I can guarantee that Siam Sarn only write the truth.”

He humors her by repeating what she said, as if believing her.

“So what do I need to do in order for you to believe me?” she questions, exasperated.

“I need to inspect the article prior to it hitting the shelves,” Khun Smart bargains.

“We normally don’t do that. But should I agree with you- will I get anything else in return?”

He peers at her from beneath those piercing eyes, “You will get everything. I will answer everything you want to know- including the bit about the casino. It will be an exclusive.”

Music to her ears. Waree doesn’t hesitate, “Deal.” She couldn’t wait to interview him and tells him to let her know the time and place.

“Just wait by the boat dock, my people will pick you up.”

He smiles at her, “and prepare your clothes too. I’d like to invite you as my first guest to Ranok Island. I hope you would give me the honor.” Ooh..

He’s such a tease. When he starts to walk away, Waree wants to do her happy dance. He turns around to add one more thing, “you’re coming alone.” Then he struts off in his confident, I’m the shit swagger.

Waree is fearless and doesn’t back down. Mattana is concerned for her sis’ safety. Waree insinuates that Mattana is hanging out at Khun KhetTawan’s house for a while so she could romantically go after KhetTawan (ok she said “raped KhetTawan”, but my term is more apppropriate haha.)

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The next morning KhetTawan watches Mattana comb her hair from the doorway. He invites her to join him on his visit with the Abbott. He takes her on a tour of his supermarket. They purchase goodies to give to the orphans at the temple. Chane Cross is watching them from the corner. When they reached the temple, the kids swarm them with excitement. The reporter in Mattana takes pictures of him with the kids. A little girl is attached to Mattana.

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They meet with the Abbott, he compliments that Mattana is really talented in getting KhetTawan to agree to interview. KhetTawan intends to build new sleeping quarters for the boys and Mattana is there to interview the Abbott about the kids to include in the interview. Once Mattana and the Abbot are alone, she starts by asking him to tell her about how KhetTawan first came to live with him at the temple. His uncle who has been raising KhetTawan asks the Abbott to raise the kid, he needs education and disciplining. The Abbott says that KhetTawan loves to stare at the sea, looking into the sunset. He always wonders why he loves the sunset so much. That is why he named the kid “KhetTawan.” It is not the name that makes the person sometimes it is vice versa. The Abbott gives KhetTawan a blessed bracelet.

When KhetTawan became a little older, he rescues his sister Parn from the wrath of the prostitution ring, from a future of abuse and destitution. KhetTawan was a fierce kid.

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“How is he as a grown man?” Mattana questions.

“Much better,” the Abbott replies, “life experiences are lessons that teach us the ability to think for ourselves.”

“Do you know the events surrounding his sister’s death? I’d like to ask him straightforwardly but I am afraid he would be hurt to speak of it.”

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The Abbott brings up the time Akachai, KhetTawan and Parn decide to leave the temple. They ask the Abbott to take Parn along with them to BKK, where the boys will go to school and hope to find work. The Abbott has his concerns, especially regarding who would look after Parn while the boys go to school, and how they would take care of her since they don’t have a job. But KhetTawan doesn’t want to abandon his sister the way his mom abandoned them. The Abbott concedes but reminds them that they can always reach out to him for any help. He gives them a final sage advice: Maintain your goodness no matter where you’re at or what you do.

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But life spirals down for KhetTawan and his sister. She became ill (pneumonia I believe) but they don’t have the money to give her treatments. This is the biggest detriment to KhetTawan, the fact that he failed as a brother to care for her, despite her illness being so immediate, and nothing he could do. Khun Ak writes a letter to the Abbott to tell him of Parn’s passing. Sometime later, KhetTawan returns to the temple, he gives the older man respect and hugs the man to him. From then on, he is withdrawn, spacey. Parn was only a kid, barely even reached 20 years old.

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Mattana questions about their mom and her whereabouts, but the Abbott could only tell her that he tried to ask KhetTawan the question, but the younger man wouldn’t answer. It is as if he knows but doesn’t want to speak of it.

This story brought more tears to Mattana’s eyes and she grew even more attached and respect the man that KhetTawan became. She also mourn for the sister that he loss.

As she walks back to where the boys are at, she watches KhetTawan read a fairytale to the kids. They exchange eye contact and he holds the gaze for a long time, enough to make Mattana blush and look away.

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They leave the temple and she leaves it with an even deeper knowledge of her idol.

Before they head home, they made a pit stop to the edge of the island, overlooking the beautiful sea.

Ah, the story of his sister’s death always gets me. Perhaps that is why he is so determined to make her dreams come true, to keep a piece of her in his life. I can’t imagine losing someone you love so immediately, one day they’re here and the next they’re gone. Or in KhetTawan’s case, one minute he was tying her shoe laces and the next.. she’s gone. So sad.